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ACTS OF GORD
THE BOOK OF ANNOYANCES · CH. 19

Why Do They Lie?

Wherein The Gord speaks the truth.

“I bought this Super Nintendo here yesterday, and it doesn’t work.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It doesn’t work.”

“As in it doesn’t turn on at all, or just a black screen?”

“A black screen.”

“Ok.”

<Gord grabs another Super Nintendo off the stack and plugs it into the monitor behind the counter.>

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to test to make sure this one works before you take it.”

“I want my money back!!”

<Dramatic pause>

“Any particular reason why you want your money back instead of another Super Nintendo?”

“You sell broken stuff! I don’t want to deal with anyone who does that.”

“Oh really? Well that’s odd, because it worked when it first came in.”

“I want my money back.”

<Gord picks up ‘broken’ Super Nintendo and begins to plug it into the monitor>

“What are you doing?! I don’t have time for this!”

“I’m going to see if someone here is about to have a bad day. If it doesn’t work, you’ll get your money back. Oh, well look at that. The machine works just fine. Three guesses who doesn’t get a refund, first two don’t count.”

“Give me a refund!”

“Here’s your Super Nintendo. Have a nice day.”

All I need to do now is invent "annoying customer spray" that will keep them at bay, and the world will be a better place.
ABOUT THIS ARCHIVED STORY

BOOK Annoyances

CHAPTER Chapter Nineteen

SOURCE https://actsofgord.com/Annoy/chapter19.php

NOTE Original wording, spelling, emphasis, and paragraph breaks preserved from the recovered archive.

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