Chapter Eleven

“How long would you like to rent Final Fantasy Tactics for?”

“Actually, I want to buy one of your copies. How does $30 sound?”

“Sounds about $80 short.”

“But you have three copies!”

“Yes, and if I were to sell one, I would sell it for no less than $100.”

“That’s too much!”

“Actually, it’s not high enough. They often sell for more, and even at that price they go the same day I get them in.”

“You should sell one to me for $30.”

“No, that’s quite alright.”

(note: this was before it went budget label on a re-release July 2001.)

“Oh my god! I’ve been looking for this game forever!”

<customer brings up rental copy of Allied General to the counter.>

“I’ll give you $50 for this title right now.”

“Sir, they sell new for $29. Would you like one?”

<Gord points to one sitting on the retail section>

“uh.. Sure.”

“I hear you guys can order in rare games?”

“Yep. We do a lot of that here.”

“I really, really want Return Fire. I’d like to order that game right now please.”

“I have those in stock. $39. Top shelf in the new game section.”

“Uhm, I can’t afford it right now.”

“I see… So you were ordering a game you can’t afford to pay for? Please note that all your future orders will have to be prepaid for.”

“What does it take to rent from here?”

“A credit card or drivers license and social insurance card.”

“And if I don’t have that?”

“Then you can’t rent.”

“I’m not going to rent anything from you then!”

“I do believe I just said that.”

<Ring>

“Gamer’s Edge”

“Yes, I dropped off a resume last week, and you just mailed it back to me. Why?”

“Because I marked it. You failed.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because it was a god awful resume. You even gave your last name two different spellings, listed the wrong area code, had your work experience in random order, and had no less than 20 spelling mistakes on the first page.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes it was. That’s why I gave it an ‘F’. Look at it! Not one part of it didn’t have at least one error. That’s why there is red all over it.”

“Does this mean I don’t get a job?”

“That would be correct. I try not to hire retarded monkeys.”

“I’d like to drop off a resume.”

“Sure.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m marking it.”

“What?”

“Tsk, you spelled ‘McDonald’s” wrong.”

<Gord starts to highlight the mistakes with a red felt pen. Guy just stands there while Gord marks his entire resume.>

“Here you go.”

“Why did you put a giant ‘F’ on it?”

“Because there were 17 grammatical mistakes on your resume. You failed.”

“I’m leaving!”

“Ok.”

And the Gord gave the applicant his resume back so that he could fix it, and perhaps one day get a job.