Chapter Seventeen

“What do you sell GameSharks for?”

“$30.”

“How much for a used one?”

“I don’t have any.”

“What if you did?”

“Well, $25 or so I guess.”

“My friend here just bought one for less.”

<dramatic pause>

“That’s nice.”

(What, does he want a medal or something? He bought something for less than I would have hypothetically sold it for if I had any in. Congratulations.)

“This game doesn’t work in my Nintendo 64. It says it requires an expansion pack!”

“Ok.”

“You should have told me that my machine needed one.”

“The game also requires a system, controller, and television. A certain onus falls upon the customer to ensure they have all that is required to run the game, especially when it says “Requires Expansion Pack!”

“I want my money back.”

“That’s nice. How about I refund your $2 rental charge, and you can pay me $6 for the extra six days you kept this game that apparently didn’t work?”

<pause>

“You’re not a very good business.”

“You’re not a very good liar.”

“I’d like to trade these two games in for Final Fantasy III.”

“Uhm, no.”

“Why not! You’re getting two newer games for that one.”

(note: he was trying to trade in Final Fantasy VII and VIII)

“Because they sell new for a combined total of $50. And Final Fantasy III is more than $100.”

“You’re getting two for one.”

“No, you’re getting $25 in credit.”

“I’m not going to buy it then.”

“I am forced to conclude you are the master of the obvious. May others take heed of your wisdom.”

“Why won’t you sell it to me cheap!”

“Because parts 7 and 8 sold more than a million copies in North America each, and they are on the Sony budget label program so I can still get them new. Anyone who wants one can buy one for cheap. As for Final Fantasy 3, they only made eight copies, and they were all accidentally shipped to a clothing store in Utah that occasionally sells one when they find the box.”

“Do you rent VCR’s?”

“Nope. We’re a video game store. We strictly do video game related products.”

“Then why don’t you rent VCR’s?”

“Well, VCR’s aren’t really a game machine. They are used to watch movies.”

“Well, how do you hook up a PlayStation to an older TV then when the TV doesn’t have A/V jacks?”

“I sell little devices which are called RF adaptors that hook up a PlayStation through the cable adaptor. They sell for $12. Or rent for $1 a day.”

“Oh.”

Gord has a nice cooler he keeps a good selection of beverages in for people to buy and drink at the store. Though he never got around to getting pop delivered. Instead, he just gets it from the bulk place.

And the bulk place is like a Costco where they have someone at the door to check your receipt on the way out to make sure you aren’t stealing anything. Notwithstanding there is nothing to steal from between the door and the cashier.

So one day Gord said “to hell with this”, skipped the line, and started to just walk out the door.

“Sir! Sir! Your receipt!”

“Yep, got it in my wallet.”

And Gord just keeps on walking with his purchases. Leaving a confused receipt checker and a line of angry customers who hate how Gord does not “respect the rules.”

Hey! Treat Gord like a customer, and not a thief.

But now the fun times are over. Gord set up accounts at Coke and Pepsi yesterday.

Talking to a person about being into the hardcore gaming scene is completely different than talking to them about the hardcore anime scene. In future, I must find a new adjective.

And do not, I repeat, do not say “if she is really into the hardcore anime scene, I can get import DVD’s from Japan and Hong Kong” when I’m talking to a 14 year old girl’s mother.

Further notation: Do not attempt to salvage this by then saying “I mean, I can get DVD’s from Japan that you can’t get here.”

Next time, say “really likes anime” and “can get DVD’s not on sale here yet.”