Chapter Twenty-Four

“You owe me $5 for a resurfacing charge on Final Fantasy 9.”

“What? Why!”

“After you rented it, I had to send one of the CDs out to be resurfaced because it was so badly damaged.”

“It was like that when I got it.”

“You were the first person to rent it.”

<dramatic pause>

“Was not.”

“You rented it the day it was released.”

“Do you have an easier version of Wheel of Fortune?”

“An easier version? It’s hangman with money.”

“The puzzles are too hard. It should give a hint.”

“I can’t really see anything good coming from that.”

“Like ‘You Don’t Know Jack’ with the multiple choice answers.”

“Multiple choice Wheel of Fortune?”

“Exactly.”

“You haven’t thought this though at all.”

“Can I exchange it for Jeopardy?”

“If you though Wheel of Fortune was hard, you’re going in the wrong direction.”

Account History: Rayleen Brewer

12/14/99 – New account.

12/14/99 – Mystical Ninja rented for 7 days.

Follow-up: Title never returned.

2/15/00 – Account forwarded to collections for $135.

Employee Note: $135 for a $10 game that no one rents anyway? Isn’t stealing Mystical Ninja punishment enough? Her children will never sleep soundly again you do realize.

Employer Note: Contact the collection company. I forgot to add the sales tax.

“Instead of having tournaments with fighting games, you should do something else.”

“There was the Worms tournament last winter, and the ‘You Don’t Know Jack’ tournament last fall.”

“I was thinking of a Red Alert Retaliation tournament,”

“What?”

“It’s a good idea.”

“Assuming the average game is 30 minutes, and let’s say only 50 people sign up instead of the usual 70 to 100, that’s something like 45 games in a single elimination tournament.”

“You can use multiple machines to play more than one game at a time.”

“Assuming that I used every PlayStation I have, both the demo machines and all the rental units which are never in on the weekends anyway, we could run eight machines at once or basically four games at once. We would be looking at a tournament lasting more hours than I’m open, and that’s not even addressing how I don’t have eight TVs in the store anyway. All while praying that we don’t have any two hour games.”

“So give away a big prize for the winner.”

“That’s it. Executive veto. Conversation over.”